Draw me Nearer

Prayer changes everything... Friday I was driving to Morgan Hill to help my friend with her son's graduation party and my mind was just full of stuff. As I often do I started to talk to God. I had been really frustrated with a certain issue and I started to tell the Lord "Im kinda tired of this and Im kind of tired of that person and I wish someone would just bring me some comfort regarding this and blah blah blah"

I was really shocked by the Lords response. He told me I was spoiled. I thought WHAT????? ME??????? The Lord began to break it down for me so that I could open my eyes and really see. I have to say I wasnt sure Id share this because it was very humbling for me to hear. Then I thought humility is good for me and I need to share this and remember it forever.

The Lord started to explain to me I was spoiled because I dont see how He keeps me from suffering the full consequences of either the wrong decisions I make or the wrong decisions of others that affect my life. He told me He keeps an arms length distance between me and the full blows that come towards me. He said because He uses me in the capacity that He does to encourage others He shields me from things that could ultimately devastate me. Like when I have made wrong choices the consequences could have been unbearable. When other people in my life make bad choices it could affect me so much I couldn't bare it. God said He has literally placed a covering over me that takes the brunt of my trials.

Here I was thinking I was suffering so much through this trial and I was made very aware it was nothing compared to suffering it alone with out Gods hand standing in front of the devil saying, "STOP right there you can only come this far. He has kept the enemy at an arms length distance from my life. Then he told me some things that were hard to hear, but were none the less true. He said that situation you have been struggling with is sent by me. I use that individual and those circumstances to drive you to your knees. Yes you pray and talk to me all the time, but I have called you to a place of intersession and you have not heeded my call. He told me there were people who were dying and going to hell because I have not been there to intercede for their soul. I started to cry because I know God has dealt with me so much about this and I have been lazy and not went to the church at night to pray like I was. Then God told me this call of intersession on my life is a gift passed down from generation to me and will pass to my child. He said there are people who pray to be used in this area and you have this gift I have given you free and you dont use it like you should. I never knew it was gift. I just know I have always interceded when I pray. I know I have ignored it many times and God finally told me if I do not heed to this call He would lift it from my life. WOW.. I felt so small at this moment and so compelled to comply with God's wishes. I told Him okay Lord, I will commit to this right now this week. I was driving with tears streaming down my face I felt so bad I had grieved the spirit of God. I asked Him to forgive me and made a commitment to heed to the call of intersession I have ignored. Anyone who reads this please pray for me that I will be faithful. There are so many things I have to intercede about. The best part of this talk with God was what He said at the end. He told me if you will come and do this the problems and issues will resolve themselves through your prayers. Your prayers will touch me and the intersession will filtrate through your life with my favor upon your situations. The prayer of intersession holds blessings for my life and for my family. I sit here in awe of who God is to me and wonder why He chooses me for anything, let alone something so beautiful. I told the Lord I cherish His favor and when He asked me what I really wanted from Him, my answer is to be closer to Him. That is my prayer to be closer to God than I ever have. More than financial blessings or relationships or any other material thing or spiritual gift I want to be close to Jesus. I want Him to be pleased with me in whatever I do. That is my prayer today and for the next few weeks to come. God draw me close to you....

I am Thine, O Lord, I have heard Thy voice,And it told Thy love to me;But I long to rise in the arms of faith And be closer drawn to Thee. Draw me nearer, nearer blessèd Lord,To the cross where Thou hast died.Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer blessèd Lord,To Thy precious, bleeding side. Consecrate me now to Thy service, Lord,By the power of grace divine;Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope,And my will be lost in Thine. O the pure delight of a single hour That before Thy throne I spend,When I kneel in prayer, and with Thee, my God I commune as friend with friend! There are depths of love that I cannot know Till I cross the narrow sea;There are heights of joy that I may not reach Till I rest in peace with Thee.